Why I am a tattooed lady...

First of all,  I've always been fascinated with any type of body adornment, modification or ritual. I was (and still am) one of those weird kids that would spend hours watching Discovery Channel, History Channel; and reading National Geographic Magazine. Whenever I would travel with my family, my special place I had to visit was a museum or aquarium or something along that educational line. Yes, I was an odd child. Anyway, ever since I can remember, I loved the way ink looked on the body, be a Vietnam veteran's arm, a Maori's face, henna on a brides feet and hands or a college student's body. I can still hear my grandma's voice saying: Ady, but that tattoo business is for sailors, criminal and bad people to which I would respond: But, Tata, I like them...does that make me a bad person?  I always loved those temporary tattoos and I would take such good care of them (like a real tattoo) that they lasted!

So I became a teenager and after much begging my mom, I got a 2nd earring in each ear. This made me for a bit part of the "cool crowd" at school, until most of the girls got their belly buttons pierced or their ear cartilage pierced, but I still wanted more; but of course when you're 14-17 (which is when I most wanted to get tattooed) you can't get one...well not a legal or  sanitary one at least. When I turned 18 I was in a relationship where I still wanted to get tattooed, but for fear of my mom finding out and my current boy-friend rejecting me, I put the desire aside and told myself it could wait. I broke up with him and 1 month later after the breakup... I was a no longer a tattoo virgin. 

 I'll confess that my 1st tattoo was more for fun (especially since I did it spur of the moment) and its meaning has changed, but right now I see it as a way to sort of breakaway from the clean cut image I have always had. Yes, I still look like a goody-two-shoes, but it's a heck of a conversation starter for people who see 1 of my inks for 1st time and ask me Why? What does it mean? Where did you get the idea?

 

My 2nd ink I gt with my friend Toni during our amazing weekend in Miami after she finished the DCP (Disney College Program) and I was 2 weeks away from finishing my DCP. This is the tattoo my mom discovered on lazy afternoon at the beach. Sorry Mom...I lied, I got my 2nd tattoo in FL and my 1st one here in PR. I did it more to show myself that I survived living 5 months away from home. 

I have never regretted any of my 4 tattoos, but being drunk and getting tattooed and laying on a friend's bed...not a very good idea. My 3rd baby was THE MOST PAINFUL. A bunch of us from the camp I was working at that summer went to one of the guy's house and his friend just happened to be a tattoo artist, we took him home, he got his things...one thing led to another and my Om and a lotus flower became 1. I think my favorite reactions of ink #3 was my mom's and her best friend (Sara) reaction. Her friend was freaking out because of the placement and  was asking if I was scared if the guy tried to peek at something else, my mom just looked at me and said: Wait! That thing grew! It wasn't that big before! I couldn't stop laughing after that one.

During December 2011 my mom kicked me out of the house, our relationship has always been like a hurricane. This was a time for depression, sadness, anger and most of all fear. I've always known how to survive, I was brought up by a single mom and 2 amazing grandparents, but no matter what anyone said top me, my heart was full of such anger and hate, I was deaf to any words of comfort or encouragement that most friends tried to give me. My friend Maria (my rock) mentioned one day not long after I was living by own that she wanted to get inked, of course I jumped at the opportunity and said Me too!

After our Saturday English Class we went to a place close to her house and got ready for the marking to begin. She took her 1st tattoo like a champ, you could tell it hurt, but she held on....then it was my turn. I always forget the 1st sting your skin feels when the needle pricks it, no not pricking, slicing your skin. My endorphins took a long time to stop most of the pain, but somehow it felt right. With the pain of the tattoo so went the pain in my heart and in my soul. When the artist finished I felt like a giant rock had been lifted off my shoulders, cliché as it sounds, but it was true...my 4th saved me.  For me getting my 4th tattoo was part of healing. Not only did it make me feel better, it'll serve as a constant reminder of why I love being me, a promise I made to myself to keep my inner child alive. Getting inked or modifying ones body in anyway can be therapeutic for a lot of people. For some reason the pain can take away the hurt being caused by some other factor or situation. 
I now have 7 tattos in total...yes, I know quite a bit; and plan to have more...like I mentioned..to me they aren't just tattoos...they can be therapy. 

I decided to write this because recently I tweeted that I was thinking of giving myself another earring or another tattoo soon...and this started a debacle with some of my friends, most in favor for one or the other, but 2 in particular grabbed my attention, one of them sent me pictures of little old ladies with lower back tattoos and another told me to remember that they were like diamonds...forever. This seemed funny to me, because body modifications are almost as old as human kind it self. Often they have served as tribal symbols, rites of passage, fertility representations or vanity; but for some reason people forget this. Having these markings on my body do not change my character, my intellect or my personality, quite the contrary. They make me feel stronger, smarter and more beautiful, when I'm a kick ass old lady I'll have a walking scrapbook with me where I can point and say : That was when I was ___, that was a awesome year... To quote my dear friend Frankie, they are like diamonds...but no one can steel my canvas.