S^*t Tourists say to me pt. II

Oh yes, I have more gems for you guys! You thought I was done?! You're crazy!

• Client: OMG! They have a Ben & Jerry's here! Me: Why is that surprising? Client: Oh...hehe...I thought you guys still lived in huts
• Your island is amazing, the people are great, so much culture! Where's the closest McDonald's? 
•  Client: Omg! I can't believe they have restaurants here! Me: Why? Client: Oh I thought you lived in stick houses
• While wearing a t-shirt that said 100% Puerto Rico, I got yelled this: "Eres una maldita socialista, revolucionaria, comunista y seguro que vendes drogas!" Her nationality, Columbian
• Guest at Disney: Sooo, how does it feel to be in a civilized country? Me: Feels the same, seeing as Puerto Rico has about 200 years of history over the US
• So why is the frog (coquí) so important? Do you guys eat it?
• Can you tell us where the nearest American food restaurant is? We're scared of your food! You know, we want something American....like a bowl of Lasagna
• Me: That's a Vejigante mask, it comes from our African heritage, it's used during carnivals and festivals for some patron saints. Its hand made here in PR and no 2 are alike. Client: Interesting...so they're from China and mass produced?
• You can't be Puerto Rican! You're too white!
• So how long have you lived in PR? 'Cause you're English is too good to be a local
• You must be the daughter of American missionaries, thats why you're English is so good, right?
• We had mofongo yesterday, it was great! It didn't agree with my son's stomach though, so we had to get him American food...you know Taco Bell and such
• How do you get your hips to move like that in Salsa? Are you a stripper too?
• If you're US territory, how come you guys don't have normal food...like hot dogs, burgers, pizza in all your restaurants? 

Ok, for those who don't know what a Coquí, Vejigante and Mofongo are, I'll leave you some links :)
Coquí  
Vejigante
Mofongo

S@*t Tourists Say to Me

I have been working in souvenir shops for about a year, plus the time I worked at Disney, and man o man have I heard some strange and stupid stuff come out of people's mouths in both English and Spanish...so here goes! (oh, I will be making post in both languages)

• Here's some American money, not the nonsense we got in those stupid islands
• So, when you give me my change back, I get Puerto Rican money back, right?
•  Srta. esto dice que es a $5.99, por ser latina usted me lo da en $2, verdad?
• I'm on the cruise ship!! I don't have to pay sales tax!
• Since you're part of Mexico, you're national food is burritos and things like that
• Oye! A los gringos es que se les cobra tax, no a nosotros los latinos...mas bien se supone que nos des descuento
• What time is the 3 o'clock parade?
• Client: How much is that T-shirt? Me: $12.99 + tax and I have sizes S-XXL Client: Oh cool...so how much is it if I give you cash Me: $12.99 + tax Client: But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? I'm nicer than most tourists are! Give it to me for $8.99!
• Do you work here? (in Disney polyester costume and nametag)
• Puerto Rico is US territory? I thought you guys belonged to England!
• Client: Señorita, me da un descuentito? Me: Depende de cuanto compre dama (10 minutes later) Me: Ok, dama! Su total es $10.70, como va a pagar? Cash o Crédito? Client: y mi descuento? Me: Dama para yo darle un descuento, debe comprar $50 o mas, es poliítica de la tienda. Client: Pero que injusticia! Yo gastando todo mi dinero aquí Me: Yo pensaba que había gastatado todo en el bolso Coach Client: Eh..Visa o Mastercard me dijo que aceptaba?