S@*t Tourists Say to Me

I have been working in souvenir shops for about a year, plus the time I worked at Disney, and man o man have I heard some strange and stupid stuff come out of people's mouths in both English and Spanish...so here goes! (oh, I will be making post in both languages)

• Here's some American money, not the nonsense we got in those stupid islands
• So, when you give me my change back, I get Puerto Rican money back, right?
•  Srta. esto dice que es a $5.99, por ser latina usted me lo da en $2, verdad?
• I'm on the cruise ship!! I don't have to pay sales tax!
• Since you're part of Mexico, you're national food is burritos and things like that
• Oye! A los gringos es que se les cobra tax, no a nosotros los latinos...mas bien se supone que nos des descuento
• What time is the 3 o'clock parade?
• Client: How much is that T-shirt? Me: $12.99 + tax and I have sizes S-XXL Client: Oh cool...so how much is it if I give you cash Me: $12.99 + tax Client: But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? I'm nicer than most tourists are! Give it to me for $8.99!
• Do you work here? (in Disney polyester costume and nametag)
• Puerto Rico is US territory? I thought you guys belonged to England!
• Client: Señorita, me da un descuentito? Me: Depende de cuanto compre dama (10 minutes later) Me: Ok, dama! Su total es $10.70, como va a pagar? Cash o Crédito? Client: y mi descuento? Me: Dama para yo darle un descuento, debe comprar $50 o mas, es poliítica de la tienda. Client: Pero que injusticia! Yo gastando todo mi dinero aquí Me: Yo pensaba que había gastatado todo en el bolso Coach Client: Eh..Visa o Mastercard me dijo que aceptaba?