S^*t Tourists say to me pt. II

Oh yes, I have more gems for you guys! You thought I was done?! You're crazy!

• Client: OMG! They have a Ben & Jerry's here! Me: Why is that surprising? Client: Oh...hehe...I thought you guys still lived in huts
• Your island is amazing, the people are great, so much culture! Where's the closest McDonald's? 
•  Client: Omg! I can't believe they have restaurants here! Me: Why? Client: Oh I thought you lived in stick houses
• While wearing a t-shirt that said 100% Puerto Rico, I got yelled this: "Eres una maldita socialista, revolucionaria, comunista y seguro que vendes drogas!" Her nationality, Columbian
• Guest at Disney: Sooo, how does it feel to be in a civilized country? Me: Feels the same, seeing as Puerto Rico has about 200 years of history over the US
• So why is the frog (coquí) so important? Do you guys eat it?
• Can you tell us where the nearest American food restaurant is? We're scared of your food! You know, we want something American....like a bowl of Lasagna
• Me: That's a Vejigante mask, it comes from our African heritage, it's used during carnivals and festivals for some patron saints. Its hand made here in PR and no 2 are alike. Client: Interesting...so they're from China and mass produced?
• You can't be Puerto Rican! You're too white!
• So how long have you lived in PR? 'Cause you're English is too good to be a local
• You must be the daughter of American missionaries, thats why you're English is so good, right?
• We had mofongo yesterday, it was great! It didn't agree with my son's stomach though, so we had to get him American food...you know Taco Bell and such
• How do you get your hips to move like that in Salsa? Are you a stripper too?
• If you're US territory, how come you guys don't have normal food...like hot dogs, burgers, pizza in all your restaurants? 

Ok, for those who don't know what a Coquí, Vejigante and Mofongo are, I'll leave you some links :)
Coquí  
Vejigante
Mofongo